Obviously there are thousands of wonderful husbands, but it’s been way overdue for me to brag about mine.
Gregory Brian Mercer is one of the kindest, patient, creative and thoughtful person I’ve ever met. And I consider myself the luckiest woman in the world to have him. (Those of you who know him well will agree. )
I met him in an old movie-style combination of a helpless female needing the aid of a Southern gentleman.
Here’s the story: I graduated from high school on Long Island in 1977. I wanted to be a journalist, and UNC-Chapel Hill had one of the best J-schools around, so right after graduation I headed South.
Needless to say, it was a bit of a culture shock to go from the cold North, where everyone had thick New York accents — as well as the requisite ice skates, sleds, warm coats and mittens. I assumed the biggest difference would be the weather – and I did enjoy the comfortably warm seasons most of the year.
But the biggest surprise was how kind and friendly the people were. As I walked across campus, students I didn’t even know actually looked me in the eyes and said ‘Hi” – or, more likely, “Hey.” (If I walked down a northern city street and saw someone coming towards me, my automatic reaction (and theirs’) would have been to turn my head slightly the other way.)
I’ve focused on the cultural differences, but Southern Style – and, more importantly, “Southern Speak” was the key to meeting the love of my life. Greg and I had dorm rooms on the same floor. He was a junior; I was a freshman. We saw each other in the TV lounge and occasionally around the dorm, but didn’t know each other well.
But all that changed when I sprained my ankle.
I was on the ground floor of the dorm standing by the mailboxes, holding my crutches. I was delighted to get mail, but when I opened the box I was a bit upset. It wasn’t a letter, but a notice that I had a package at the Post Office downtown. I couldn’t help myself from saying out loud: “Oh no!”
Greg happened to be walking by and asked what was wrong. I told him about my ankle and the fact it would be difficult to get to Franklin Street.
No matter, he said, he would carry me.
“Carry me?” I said. “You mean you’re going to “CARRY ME?” I thought to myself that Southerners really ARE gallant.
I was surprised, however, when he led me out through the back door, which would take much longer to walk all the way around the dorm to get downtown. But I followed him, and he put me and my crutches in his car.
After an insightful lesson on Northern vs. Southern speak, I realized ‘carry’ meant to “drive.” And I later learned that ‘Barbeque’ didn’t mean grilling hamburgers, among other many Southernisms. (If you’re wondering, yes, I’ve been saying ya’ll for years now.)
Despite our cultural differences, we fell in love and married in 1982. We’ve reared two wonderful children – Sarah, 24, and Cortland, 21.
My parents died young, so our family spent a lot of time in ‘Pop City’ – a special place in Eastern North Carolina where Greg’s family lived for generations, surrounded by giant pine trees and lush farmland. I adopted his parents as my own – and they loved me as much as they did their own offspring.
As to Greg’s thoughtfulness, creativity and generosity, I don’t know where to begin, but here are some examples:
- For Christmas and birthday presents, he rarely gives tons of boxed gifts, although the gifts he picks out are always perfect. More often than not, he finds a special vacation get-a-way as a present, and looks for a way to enjoy the time together as a couple or the whole family.
- He came up with the idea of celebrating our 27th anniversary, inviting friends over to play a trivia game about events in 1982, the year we married. For instance, the Falklands War took place that year, and the person who answered correctly got a bag of green Army men.
- Along with close friends, we hosted a wonderful wine party this fall. Not everyone knew each other, so Greg prepared name tags. The stickers had formal names, but, in addition, Greg added ‘wine nicknames’ for each person. For instance, my nametag was “Chardonnay: Sleek and Nutty with an emphasis on Nutty” (Ha Ha), and a friend’s was “Australian Shriaz: Quietly Sophisticated.”
Needless to say, I count myself the luckiest woman in the world to have Greg. I’ve loved him since college and will the rest of my life. He’s been as kind and patient as possible since my diagnosis (although I know I frustrate him at times.) In fact, he has been asked to join the local Alzheimer’s Association and is giving it serious consideration.
Needless to say, along with my children and sisters, Greg is the greatest reason I am truly able to “Live Life to the Fullest.” And that, along with my family’s love — and close friendships — is really all I need.
You are two of the luckiest people I know! Consistently in love for all these years! You are both lucky to have each other!
Laura, I have been looking forward to your next post! You and your family have been in my thoughts a lot this month.
take care,
Julia Ralston (Sarah and Chelsea’s mom)
This was a very touching tribute. And funny too. As for Southernisms, I’ll bet Greg also offers to put your luggage in the “boot” when traveling by car, not the trunk. And when he gets on an elevator, he says “mash 4, please,” not press 4, please. I could go on and on…
You got that right!!!!
Laura,
What a joy to read your blog this evening. Thanks so much for your web address. It is always a blessing to see you each Monday morning at our coffee shop!
Karen at Starbucks
You certainly are lucky. My marriage didn’t work out, but maybe someday I’ll be brave enough to date again and, gasp, even marry again. If I do, I’ll consider myself very lucky if I find someone even HALF as wonderful as Greg is. You two are perfect for each other and I’ll bet he feels just as lucky to have YOU as his wife.
We all love Greg–especially for the way he loves you!
I’m glad you are writing all of these wonderful stories!
I remember the “I’ll carry you there” story fondly ever since you shared it with me years ago at PriceMcNabb. You and Greg are wonderful folks and I’m blessed to know you!
Hi, Laura! I’m catching up with the last few months of your blog. What a delightful treat for a Sunday morning. Greg’s brother, Rick, got in touch with me recently. We both agreed that of the eight cousins on the Yelverton side of the family, Greg was the best of us all. Maybe it was because he was the “baby?” —the youngest—but the extra spoiling he got from Sister, Brother Wyley and Motmamma strangely didn’t ruin him! Frankly, I’m surprised.
Congratulations on your board appointment. You are really making a difference!
Nancy